All dressed up... again!

Waiting...

Two weeks ago I went again to the hospital for the "breast surgery: the sequel", almost one and a half years after the first big surgery.
There's nothing nice about having surgery: I felt nervous and anxious. I was hungry and tired (hadn't eaten and hardly slept). I felt vulnerable and sad.
It all became very real when the surgeons (I had two this time) came in to make the markings on my skin, one made his marking in black, the other in green. After that, the same ritual starts: the anaesthetist comes to ask the usual questions, the phlebotomist draws some blood, the nurse makes sure I am well and gives me a fancy hospital gown, very white compression socks, anti-slip green socks (health and safety!), disposable panties (sexy!) and a non-matching robe. So pretty! Luckily S. thinks that even in a hospital gown I am still the prettiest girl ever (love is blind!).
It is the fourth time I have surgery in this hospital and I almost feel at home there. The room is nice, with two big windows, it is quiet and comfortable. There is a closed balcony with sofas where patients and guests can go to read and relax. The nurses and staff are just amazing, when they heard I was in the ward they came to say hello and wish me luck. They are really nice people and they treated me very well, as always.
I was then taken to the operating theatre where the anaesthetist and his assistant were waiting for me. The anaesthetist had some difficulty finding a suitable vein. My right arm cannot be used (to reduce the risk of lymphoedema) and my left arm is still recovering from the chemotherapy induced phlebitis. Against his will he ended up putting the catheter into a vein in my hand. Before I had time to count until five, I was asleep. I woke up from the surgery in pain and the first day was a bit rough but the surgery went well and I am doing fine now, recovering fast and without complications (I'll spare you the gory details).
I am at home, on sick leave for about three weeks. I can't do much so I read and watch movies with my mother. Not a bad life!
I try not to think much about what I went through, about how I look and how I will look like in the future. Emotionally I feel weaker than before, I feel tearful most of the time and I am always making a huge effort to stay positive, smile and enjoy life.

Thank you all for your support

Here are some pictures of the Cancerkin Hyde Park walk last weekend.

It was fun and we were lucky enough to have some sunny spells and no rain at all.

And no, I wasn't wearing a tutu...

Has it really been a year?

One year ago I was panicking, crying and afraid, I had no idea what was expecting me and I had no idea how I was going to deal with it.
It is hard to believe that a year is gone already.
Although I don't feel safe from recurrence, I am not always thinking about it either.
If breast cancer is most likely to recur within the first two years after diagnosis, I am happy to say that I survived the first one year without any bad news. I am not a big fan of statistics but it makes me feel good to think that I am half-way.

Sponsor me, your donation is going to a worthy cause. Help me reach £1000!

http://www.justgiving.com/Gisela-Antunes

Elderflower cordial

This week's vegetable box brought me flowers, elderflowers. And with it I made a delicious and refreshing cordial. Here is the recipe (taken from the Abel & Cole site):
It makes about 500ml - to fill 2-3 jam jars.

Ingredients:
15 large elderflower blossom heads
2 unwaxed lemons, zest pared in strips, sliced
500g caster sugar (I used 300g only)
 
Shake the elderflower heads to remove any errant bugs and the like, and place in a very large, heatproof bowl with the lemon slices. In a large saucepan set over a low heat, dissolve the sugar in 500ml cold water. Stir until the liquid is completely clear. Increase the heat and bring the syrup to the boil, then stir in the pared lemon zest and pour the mixture over the elderflower blossoms and lemon slices. Cover with clingfilm and set aside in a cool place to steep for about 24 hours.
Strain into a jug, through a muslin-lined sieve. Pour into little jars (should fill 3-4 jam jars) and store in the fridge for up to 1 week. Or, pour into ice cube trays and freeze the cubes until ready to use. They're perfect for picnics- just pop them into a jug with water and let them melt as you travel to your picnic spot.

It is very nice diluted with still water, sparkling water  or soda.

Something to look forward to

My sister C. is getting married in September. Not only it makes me feel very happy, it also gives me something to look forward to. Instead of thinking of my next surgery, I am thinking of what to wear and how will my hair look like by then. It is going to be a great day! Congratulations C. and C.

Dr. Gigi was right

As I said, it is better to have a disc hernia than a tumour, so when I heard that I have two disc hernias I kind of felt happy. Weird, I know! I still have pain and discomfort but feel much better than a couple of weeks ago. I started doing physiotherapy and I am confident it will help. My posture is apparently wrong and needs to be corrected, which might take months, but I will be a good girl and do my daily exercises, as recommended by the physiotherapist.
I feel like an old lady. I also feel too young to feel this old.