Mastectomy fashion

If shopping for a wig made me feel depressed, imagine how I felt after trying to buy a bikini!

Last week I gained courage and went to a shop specialized in mastectomy wear to buy a bikini. I was in a good mood and feeling confident, but once I left the shop my self esteem was pretty much destroyed.

I was very disappointed by the choice available, most swimwear seem to be designed for 50 plus ladies with big breasts and no taste. Young and small-breasted women also get cancer, it's not fair! Only one of the swimsuits was the right size for me, which meant choosing the style and pattern was out of the question. And finding a bikini was even worse, they all looked like out of fashion tankinis. Feeling frustrated but trying to keep a positive attitude, I decided to get the not so pretty swimsuit, at least I can go swimming now.

Then it came the second disappointment: the swim prosthesis. I knew already from previous experience that finding the right prosthesis is complicated. After my surgery, the hospital nurses had to run around town to find one the right size and shape for me and I can't thank them enough for that, because since then I haven't been able to find any other prosthesis that fits me so well. In fact, in one of my attempts to buy a new prosthesis I realized that most women have huge boobs (or that I have tinny boobs!). All the prosthesis were too big for me and the only one I could actually wear had been originally made for lumpectomies, not mastectomies. Again, not fair!

So, for the swimsuit I needed a swim prosthesis and once again I had to hear: "you're petit, not sure if we have anything your size". I could eat the sales woman alive! I am sure I am not the only cup A breast cancer patient in London!

I left the shop with the not so pretty swimsuit, not so perfect prosthesis and an incredible desire to eat chocolate.

But I won't give up, when the spring collection arrives I will go shopping again. I am sure I will be able to find something I like and feel confident wearing.

Having a mastectomy is traumatic and not being able to feel normal only makes it worse.